Like I'm Gonna Lose You
by Alycat13
Summary: "You'd know what was going on if you picked up your phone and listened to one of my messages, Derek." Before Addison comes to Seattle at the end of season one, she tries to contact Derek who was trying his hardest to forget her. There's no promise of tomorrow, and you never know how things will end. Song Fic MerDer Addek Grey's Anatomy Season 1-2
**-Like I'm gonna lose you-**

 **So I'm gonna love you**

 **Like I'm gonna lose you**

 **I'm gonna hold you**

 **Like I'm saying goodbye wherever we're standing**

 **I won't take you for granted 'cause we'll never know when**

 **When we'll run out of time so I'm gonna love you**

 **Like I'm gonna lose you**

 **I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you**

 _Derek I know you're still ignoring my calls. I'm sorry about what happened between us. We've had seven good years, let's not end it like this. Please call me back._

 _Derek it's Addie, please call me back, it's important._

 _Hey Derek, what's going on? Nancy told me you're living in a trailer in the woods. Is this some kind of joke? Call me back, I need to speak with you._

 _I'm trying here Derek but the door swings both ways. I can't do this all on my own. I didn't mess this up on my own so I can't fix it by myself. Just give me a chance. Please. I love you._

 _I spoke to Richard today. What's going on Derek? Please just call me back. If you're going to end it then don't be a coward and run away, just tell me. I'm sorry. I just want you to come home and we can try again. I won't hurt you again. You can trust me._

 _All of your sisters are badgering me because you won't answer their calls, little do they know you're not answering mine either. I don't know what to tell them. We all miss you. I didn't just lose my husband, I lost my best friend. Derek we're your family. Please._

Derek was surprised when his own voice was on his answering machine. " _Addison Montgomery, I met her in the summery, she was cutting up a very dead body._ _And in her eyes I saw my life, I knew that she would be my wife and she would breathe the life back into me, for everyday until eternity!_ _Or until I'd be as dead as that body."_ The song cut off and Addison's soft voice filled the message. _"Derek I never wanted to hurt you. I'm so sorry that I did."_ Derek hit delete all after the last message. He couldn't stand to hear Addison's feeble apologies. He was finally happy, happy with Meredith, and he was not letting Addison ruin it. Meredith came out of the bathroom, a towel around her waist and a cloud of steam behind her. "Who called?" She asked as she ran a brush through her long blonde hair. "Wrong number. They called a few times but I think they got the message." He lied easily, pulling her close and inhaling the strong smell of her lavender shampoo. The phone rang again. A shrill ring that cut through the trailer. Meredith left Derek's arms before he could stop her and she answered the phone. "Hello?" "Hi is Derek Shepard there?" A woman's voice asked. "Who is this?" She didn't answer the woman's question. "Sorry I must have the wrong number." She hung up. Meredith returned the phone to its receiver and turned to Derek. "That was weird." "Forget about it. Dinner's almost ready. You want to open a few beers?" He watched her carry the beers to the table on the deck outside where the food was waiting. He pulled the phone jack from the wall, hoping Addison would leave them alone. His phone was on silent in his pocket, so he didn't know another message was being left. _Derek, I'm flying in tonight. Richard wants my help on a TTS case. Don't be mad. I wanted to talk to you beforehand but I must have written down the wrong number when mom read it to me. I'll be staying at the Archfield. I'll see you tomorrow._  
 **In the blink of an eye** **Just a whisper of smoke** **You could lose everything** **The truth is you never know**  
He spotted her striking red hair as he helped Meredith into her coat. "I'm so sorry Meredith." The blonde intern was confused but turned to where his gaze was locked. "Addison Shepherd." The voice of the red head was vaguely familiar but she couldn't place it. "Shepherd?" She turned from Addison to Derek, searching for answers that his frozen mind couldn't give her. "You must be the woman who's screwing my husband." Her smile was anything but friendly as she sized up the small girl before her. "You're married?" He could hear the emotion behind her voice as the words broke. "Meredith let me explain-" he started. "No. You don't get to explain. You're freaking married Derek?" She backed away from him like he was fire. "We're separated." He pleaded, begging the girl of his dreams to not run. "Why are you here Addison? Did you come to ruin what part of my life you haven't already?" "Oh Derek, yes I flew across the country to reminisce over wedding photos and fall into bed and make you realize you can't live without me." She rolled her eyes. "You'd know why I was here if you listened to your messages."  
 **Any chance that I get** **I'll make the most of the minutes and love with no regrets** **Let's take our time** **To say what we want** **Use what we got** **Before it's all gone** **'Cause no, we're not promised tomorrow**  
Meredith stood in the hallway just out of view, her feet frozen to the ground as she watched the couple. Her mind was foggy and everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. This wasn't supposed to happen. Derek wouldn't do this to her. He can't be married. Her McDreamy wasn't like that. He would never hurt her.  
 **Like a scene from a movie** **That every broken heart knows we were walking on moonlight** **And you pulled me close** **Split second and you disappeared and then I was all alone**  
Meredith wanted to drink. She wanted to drink until she couldn't remember the last few months. She should go to Joe's. Her friends were waiting for her there, George and Cristina. But Emerald City was where this disaster that is her relationship with McDreamy started. Right now she couldn't move. This was her worst nightmare. A nightmare so bad that when she imagined a worse case scenario, this reality wasn't even a blip on her radar.  
 **We'll never know when** **When we'll run out of time so I'm gonna love you** **Like I'm gonna lose you** **I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you**  
Please Review **Song: Like I'm gonna lose you by Meghan Trainor and John Legend**


End file.
